While brushing my teeth before bed a couple of nights ago, I had these thoughts about my life in this new decade:
During the next ten years...
... I will likely finish having children
... I will be in the prime of my health
... I will reach middle age
... I will have a new career
... I will still not be able to grow anything resembling facial hair
... I will need to make the bulk of my life's money (yikes!??)
... My life will probably not make much money (double yikes!)
... I will still want to drive an old Jeep
... I will probably drive a 2002 yellow Mazda
... The Warm Fuzzies will likely reach the finish line
... We will still probably have copies of bubblegum-scented CDs in boxes in our house
... I will still bang out songs on whatever's laying around
... I will meet new friends and build new relationships
... I will lose touch with people I care about
... I will probably move to a different home
... my children will experience those golden years of childhood
... People I love dearly will die
... I'll be ten years closer to my own death
... We'll all lose something dear to us.
... There is no guarantee I'll even survive it
I feel cursed sometimes by the fact that I rarely think about the good without the bad. I guess the opposite true as well (and is a bit more optimistic). My enthusiasm is always tempered by caution, and my caution is always warmed by the hope I have that things will turn out okay. Is the glass half-empty or half-full? All I see is "both."
But I do know I will need Jesus to be more real to me in these next ten years than in the three decades preceeding. And though I imagine I will see 2020 (no pun intended) having hurt more than ever, I also believe I will have hoped, loved, and laughed more than enough to tip the scale toward that glass being a little more filled.
To arrive at 2020 without some tragedies is impossible, but if and when I reach it, I hope to simply be ten years better.
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