I just heard the first round of mixes for the upcoming <i>Broken Headphones</i> EP, and I've to say that in my completely biased opinion it's really good. Of course, ultimately, I can think whatever I want, but it's really what you folks think that determines whether I continue to do this or find a more steady job. It's a weird feeling, but this is a weird line of work. I feel at times a creeping anxiety that while I feel I can create a good work of art, I may not be able to really sell it. My education background is in the visual arts, and generally speaking, most of the guys we hold up as masters never really made any money off their art. They had to die first. And frankly, I'm not quite ready for something that drastic. I guess putting out a record isn't really a matter of life and death, but there's a lot of other stuff wrapped in that little cellophane package - feelings of purpose and self worth, purpose, and even questions of identity - so it's always with prayerful optimism tempered with a little anxiety that I put some new music out there and wait to see what happens. I'm really excited for you to hear the new songs... but not quite yet.
In some other news, I have to say a few words about one of my best friends and his wife, who after trying for a really long time to have a baby, are now pregnant. He called me yesterday, and I can't explain how good it was to hear the news. So many times in life we wonder why we can't have the things we want, especially when what we want is good. We can't help but ask eternal questions and possibly doubt our convictions and beliefs about the unseen forces that work in our lives, and to be perfectly honest, it sucks. It's hard to have faith in something unseen when what you see in your own life is frustration, fear, and doubt. It's hard to watch a friend hit a rough spot, but to his credit he never gave up hope. Frustration? Doubt? Yeah, I think he had a lot of that. But he wouldn't let loose of the hope that the God he believed in would not abandon him or leave him. And now that his prayers (and ours) have been answered, it all makes sense in hindsight.
It's inspiring to me to see someone cling to hope during such a tough season of frustration and doubt. Your true character shines through, and I hope to be more like you.
